Humor: Truth

We all claim to want to know the truth in every situation, but do we really? I think that it actually depends on what that truth is. I sincerely believe that most of us may be guilty of Jack Nicholson's character's accusation of Tom Cruise's character in "A Few Good Men" when he says, "You can't handle the truth."

For example, a friend of mine was dating a new guy recently, and she really wanted me to meet him. She had been telling me for a few weeks how great and smart and wonderful he was. I was hesitant, but I agreed to meet them for dinner anyway. I wasn't sure how I would handle it if I didn't see the same wonderful qualities that she did, but I took a chance because it was important to my friend.

It turned out that I wasn't quite as impressed with him as my friend was. He talked about himself for two solid hours and stared at every other woman that walked by, but my friend didn't seem to notice. When she called me the next day to ask what I thought of him, I said, "Uh, uh, he's surely interesting, isn't he? And he's tall, too." I lied about the interesting part, but I was certain that she would figure him out after a couple more dates.

Another recent example is when I asked a good friend, "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" Did I really want to know the truth? No way! I wanted her to lie to me if she must, and any true friend would know this. I can just imagine a world where friends were always truthful with each other. "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" Then comes the answer, "Oh my gosh, I thought you'd never ask. You look like Jared before the Subway diet!" Is this what I wanted to hear? Not so much.

But now that my friend has told me that I do indeed look fat in my new jeans, I decide to get a new hairstyle and color. That should make me feel better. When I get finished at the salon, I'm feeling pretty good about my new look, so I go to that same friend's house to show off the changes. That was my first mistake. Immediately after she opens the door, I sense a certain discomfort. I can see a look of dread on her face. She knows that I'm going to ask her if she likes my new cut and color, and she's trying to figure out how she is going to answer the question. That's when I make my second mistake. I ask her, "What do you think of my new haircut and color?" Then I blow it by adding, "Now be completely honest." When will I ever learn?