Self Esteem Basics

When asked to describe themselves, most people tend to start listing the things they would like to change – their “less desirable qualities.” In addition, they tend to list the “outside characteristics” focusing on weight issues or any number of things that they do not like about the way they look. These are the traits that most people seem to focus on. To be sure, everyone has some negative characteristics. Without those, we would not be human. People are not perfect. But it is important to remember the good qualities, too, and even learn to list those before the not-so-good ones. Additionally, it is good to remember that needing to lose ten pounds or having wrinkles or gray hair does not make us bad people. It is the person inside that matters.

It is not boastful to know, or even to say that you have nice qualities. Everyone has good qualities that they should feel good about and be proud of. Of course, there is no need to shout from the rooftop that we are kind or compassionate or thoughtful or smart, because at that point it has become arrogance. But it is good to know in our own hearts that we have goodness inside us. There should be a balance between the good traits and the negative ones.

In society much emphasis is placed on self-confidence and self-esteem, but society can give us no help in attaining them. It actually does more to rob us of our self-esteem with the fantasy ads featuring thin, beautiful people with money and perfect lives. But we can only learn to like ourselves by being completely honest when assessing our traits. We must see ourselves as we truly are – human beings with many wonderful qualities and numerous flaws.

To help focus on the positive, make a list of your assets – are you courteous, generous, helpful? Are you a good wife/husband, a good mother/father? Are you loyal, a good friend, a good listener? Do you enjoy helping others? Think about this, and make that list so that the next time you are asked to describe yourself you can give an accurate description.