“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard
There are large families and small ones, close families and those that are not so close. They come in all shapes and sizes, and they can give us more peace and encouragement, turmoil and misery, love and understanding, and aggravation and anger than anything else. Families are intricately complicated, but simple and straightforward at the same time.
Family members share a unique, natural bond, and they love each other with an indescribable depth. Even those who do not particularly like each other love and protect one another with the ferocity of a mother bear. Their attitude toward this love is “I can say whatever I want about my brother, sister, mother, or father, but no one else better cross that line.” They feel that it is OK for them to criticize their family, but if anyone else should dare to, they had better watch out!
Family members are there for each other during times of crisis, catastrophe, and illness. They have a unique way of pulling together and helping one another when necessary. Even the ones who aren’t close and maybe do not even get along will show up at each other’s door to do whatever is needed. They say that it is “just what families do.” This is one of the things that make these relationships so special and amazing.
It is also wonderful to have people with whom so many memories are shared. Family members have the pleasure and privilege of being able to reminisce about how things were and things that happened when they were children. They share a lifetime of experiences, and they have things in common that are different from all their other relationships. They have each other to share the joys and the pain of the past as well as the present.
The most fortunate families are those that are friends as well as family. All are forced to be together as children, but the lucky ones remain close into adulthood, and they will never be alone. Family is a refuge, a kind of safe harbor. To have family members to turn to when life gets too difficult to face alone is a wonderful comfort, and it is a gift too large to measure.
So, in dealing with family, always keep in mind that life is fragile. Be kind and compassionate and patient, but most of all, be loving. Stay in touch, get together often, and enjoy them now. Don’t put it off until tomorrow because life doesn’t last forever.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Focus on the Positive - Practice Gratitude
Volumes have been written on the subject of gratitude, but a few short paragraphs are all that is really necessary. It is not such a complicated topic. The best way to describe gratitude is that it is the act of being more aware of what we have than what we do not have. Another good definition is that it is knowing that even though we may not have everything we want, we have everything we need, and that is enough.
When we are concentrating on being grateful, there is no time for self-pity. And when we are focusing on what is good in our lives, we are spending less time thinking about our troubles and focusing on the negative.
Gratitude helps us to recognize the treasure in the simple things such as a child’s laughter, a breathtaking sunset, or the fragrance of spring flowers. It helps us not to ignore the beauty of the world around us.
Opportunities to practice gratitude exist in every situation. Though not always obvious, and we often have to dig for them, the opportunities are there. It is simply a matter of taking the time to look. The obviously wonderful things that happen in our lives, marriage, the birth of a child, getting a great job, buying that first home, are easy to be grateful for.
For the tough situations, though, the answer is in how we view them. For example, it is difficult to find anything to be grateful for in losing a loved one. But if we really try, we can find hidden blessings. Maybe our grief brought us closer to God, thereby improving our spiritual life, or maybe our loved one was in pain, and their death brought much needed peace and relief.
If the early morning singing of the birds disturbs our sleep, we can be grateful for our sense of hearing instead of angry because we were awakened. After all, there are many who cannot hear and would love to be disturbed in this manner. Maybe our home needs to be remodeled, but at least we have a home. There are many who do not have a roof over their heads. If we are very busy and must work overtime at our job, we can be grateful that we have a job at all. The unemployment rate is high right now. Maybe we are spread too thin and having trouble getting our children to their soccer practices, baseball games, and choir concerts. We could try being grateful that they are healthy enough to play sports and participate in school activities. There are parents of ill or disabled children who would delight in seeing their child play in a baseball game.
It’s not always easy, and this could all sound simplistic to some, but gratitude truly is a choice that we make. It is all in our perception, and we have complete control over how we choose to perceive things. We can look for the good and be grateful or choose to see only the bad. We make the choice.
When we are concentrating on being grateful, there is no time for self-pity. And when we are focusing on what is good in our lives, we are spending less time thinking about our troubles and focusing on the negative.
Gratitude helps us to recognize the treasure in the simple things such as a child’s laughter, a breathtaking sunset, or the fragrance of spring flowers. It helps us not to ignore the beauty of the world around us.
Opportunities to practice gratitude exist in every situation. Though not always obvious, and we often have to dig for them, the opportunities are there. It is simply a matter of taking the time to look. The obviously wonderful things that happen in our lives, marriage, the birth of a child, getting a great job, buying that first home, are easy to be grateful for.
For the tough situations, though, the answer is in how we view them. For example, it is difficult to find anything to be grateful for in losing a loved one. But if we really try, we can find hidden blessings. Maybe our grief brought us closer to God, thereby improving our spiritual life, or maybe our loved one was in pain, and their death brought much needed peace and relief.
If the early morning singing of the birds disturbs our sleep, we can be grateful for our sense of hearing instead of angry because we were awakened. After all, there are many who cannot hear and would love to be disturbed in this manner. Maybe our home needs to be remodeled, but at least we have a home. There are many who do not have a roof over their heads. If we are very busy and must work overtime at our job, we can be grateful that we have a job at all. The unemployment rate is high right now. Maybe we are spread too thin and having trouble getting our children to their soccer practices, baseball games, and choir concerts. We could try being grateful that they are healthy enough to play sports and participate in school activities. There are parents of ill or disabled children who would delight in seeing their child play in a baseball game.
It’s not always easy, and this could all sound simplistic to some, but gratitude truly is a choice that we make. It is all in our perception, and we have complete control over how we choose to perceive things. We can look for the good and be grateful or choose to see only the bad. We make the choice.
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